The times we feel overwhelmed, insufficient, incapable, stress paralyzed (thank you MNO for giving it a name!). The times we feel like utter failures as moms, wondering if we'll survive or if our kids will grow up severely damaged.
Here are 15 ways that, in my opinion, you can know you are a good mom. If you can't laugh or cry or relate with any of these, maybe you can be encouraged that you have it figured out a whole lot better than at least one mom out there!
You know you're a good mom when.....
1. You make a to-do list like this one:
- mow yard
- fold laundry
- clean toilet
- mow yard
- fold laundry
- clean toilet
wipe boogers change 11 diapers swing the kids read them a book make PB&J for lunch again for snacks and for supper, because that's what they wanted today kiss boo-boos keep everyone alive
The last one is especially essential. I prefer doing it every day. PB&J helps accomplish that. *smile*
2. Your child gets stuck in the mud you told him to stay out of. Like, REALLY stuck. He can't move and is screaming for you to come rescue him. You do, but first you must calmly snap about five photos from different angles.
And you laugh.
3. You get called a pig and you take it as a compliment. Actual words from my daughter,
"Hey mom! You're the bestest mom ever!
You know why? Cuz you eat my leftovers."
....thoughtful pause and slight giggle as she finished with,
"You're kinda like a pig!"
5. You tell yourself, "My hair isn't messy. It's the humidity making it look like this." And you try to believe it. If that doesn't work you justify your wad of frizz with, "It's a messy bun. That's an actual hair style, you know."
6. Your first thought at seeing your 1 year old chomping on dog food is,
"Oh. Well, its good for the dog.
It must have some nutritional value, right?"
Then you check yourself, have him spit it out, try to get him to swish and spit water,
but it gets swallowed anyway.
7. You can handle a conversation at the dinner table where your children are sharing about squeezing chicken entrails till the poop came out. Then, without skipping a beat, they mentioned off-handedly that the dog ate his vomit that day. You listen interestedly and never gag because you've grown a stomach of iron.
8. You rename a recipe because of something your child said about it. In our family we have a delicious pasta and fruit salad smothered in poppy seed dressing. Due to all the poppy seeds, our oldest deemed it
"Fly Poop Salad".
YES. We call it that.
9. You get to do 45 minutes of errands....ALONE.
But you're not sure how to handle it, because this freedom thing....its so strange....and quiet....and boy, did it fly by too fast. So for the last mile, you slow down to a whopping 10 mph, roll the windows down, crank the music, because loud is all you know and you're just trying to squeeze in a few more seconds.
10. Your children come bounding out of the house, jumping up and down, wanting hugs, and expressing pure delight at seeing your face again. You feel a little guilt that your delight in seeing them doesn't quite match theirs. But your heart is full at such a grand welcome home after only 45 minutes.
11. You need a shower. BAD. So you lock all windows, deadbolt the doors, turn on cartoons, hand the kids a bag of cheese puffs and a huge community mug of lemonade. You dive in the shower, all while being sure you hear them escaping or a home invasion taking place. You're breathless as you barge out of the bathroom, clean and clothed in three minutes flat, just in time to see the last cheese puff being devoured and the 64oz mug slurped empty. Success! Now just wait for the sugar high.
You still didn't get that other leg shaved.
12. The kids are fighting. There's major exaggeration and self justification in their screams. You poke your head in the room and holler over the din, "Anyone kill their sister yet?" They freeze. Stone quiet for 1 second, as they process what they just heard. Then they erupt in gales of giggles and the day resumes peacefully.
13. Not only are you the only one who flushes the toilet, but you can also tell who has been there last. Let's just say....you know who's is who's. The mountain men of the 1800's called it "reading sign", don't you know.
(I could find no acceptable image for this one.)
14. You tell your children they need to go to their rooms and that you don't want to see their beautiful faces or hear their lovely voices for 15 minutes. You set the timer for 17 minutes. Then you crumble to the living room floor, in the middle of all the messy and you bawl your eyes out. You glance at the timer. You have 8 minutes to get it together. So, you dry your eyes, wash your face, breathe a prayer, tell yourself you'll be alright and your kids will survive. Then you make the timer ding 5 minutes early because somehow seeing them is what you need right now.
They come running and you all have cuddle time on the couch.
15. You sneak into their room at night, push back the mound of messy hair, kiss their soft cheeks, in awe of God's beautiful creations, disbelieving He trusts you with them. You brush a tear off their cheek and realize it's your own.
So much is held in that one tear.....
Joy and awe at the sight of this perfect creature.
Sadness that she's growing so fast.
Terror at how the world will damage him.
Excitement at how He will impact the world through the child.
Relief at the promise of beautiful sleep awaiting you.
If you can relate to one, a few, or maybe all of the above, then in my opinion, you, my friend, are a VERY. GOOD. MOM.
Give yourself a break.
Your child loves you and thinks you are awesome.
In all the crazy of everyday life, your child is trying to tell you, "I love you for giving this mom thing your best shot. You're doing a VERY. (full stop) GOOD. (full stop) JOB. (full stop) at loving me."
He just has a hard time expressing himself.
He feels, but can't say.
She knows, but can't express with words.
So, they do it by pouncing on you,
anger, and frustration at you,
because they know they're safe with you.
They tackle you,
lay on you,
rub on you,
tap on you till you go nuts,
tug your clothes till they come off,
repeat "mom, mom, mom" till you think the word has a hole worn through, making demands just to know that you're still holding them as a priority...
and you are.
Every time you fulfill their need or want to be loved, no matter how hard or annoying it is, you're doing it because YOU ARE A VERY GOOD MOM.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
Look for the beauty in the every day, in the imperfect, less than ideal....
because in that, you'll find the perfect. The beautiful. The blessing. The more-than-you-can-imagine.
Now go hug your kids and tell them you love them. They'll hug you back and tell you they love you, too.
Because today is gonna be crazy, and you're gonna need the reminders.
Sharing with....Essential Things, Missional Women, Christian Mommy Blogger, Beauty Observed, Nancherrow, Create With Joy, Sincerely, Paula, A Proverbs 31 Wife , Moms the Word, The Modest Mom
Soul Survivor, Women of Worship, What Joy is Mine, Looking at the Rays of Grace & Joy, Yes They Are All Ours, Make A Difference Monday, Cornerstone Confessions, Made to Mother, The Time-Warp Wife, Raising Homemakers, Juana Mikels, Our Life on a Budget, Enchanted Homeschooling Mom, Oh my Heartsie Girl, joyful homemaking think tank, Diamonds in the Rough, thrifty T's Treasures, Thank goodness its monday, Darling Downs Diaries