Monday, March 3, 2014

CONGRATULATIONS! Your Body is Ruined!

"What a beautiful baby! Too bad your body is ruined and you'll never be as beautiful as you were before."

My jaw dropped in disbelief. I couldn't believe what I just heard.

Fierce anger welled up. I felt hot all over as my blood began to boil.

Before words could form I quickly walked away, cradling my beautiful 2 month old as she peacefully slept in my arms.

I couldn't grasp how someone could say the perfection I was holding was my ruin.



As I gazed at her precious face, caressing her velvety skin, burying my cheek in her soft silky hair, I felt nothing but joy. I was in complete wonderment at this little person; a miniature me.

I was in awe that my body had done exactly what it had been created to do...to give life.

Later, as I looked at my body in the mirror, running my fingers over the scars, I didn't see a woman ruined.

Sure, my hips weren't as slender as they once were. But now they were the perfect padded perch for my little one to hitch a ride.

My once taut tummy was now scarred by the emergency c-section. The stretched skin and seperated muscles forever softening my mid-section, making a soft warm place for her to rest against.

The stretch marks proof that she grew to a healthy full term baby.

My once perky boobs would never hold the same form after breastfeeding.

But I didn't find my now softer, curvier body a disappointment.

Rather, I saw a beautiful reminder that it had given life to another.



What I saw was a woman completed.

A woman stronger.

A woman empowered.

A woman kinder...

Gentler...

Sweeter...

More loving...

A woman in her zenith.

I was no longer beautiful as I once was....I had become more beautiful.





Since then, my body has given life to two more. With each one I became more.

More scarred...more soft...more jiggly.

Less ruined...less shallow...less weak.

More beautiful...more beautiful...more beautiful.

And tonight, as my three and I tumbled and played, they noticed my tummy shakes when I laugh.

They touched it. They tickled it. They patted it. They poked it.

They squished it. They pinched it. They laid on it. They laughed at it.

They loved it.

So do I.





 "Her children arise and call her blessed" Proverbs 31:2

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30 comments :

  1. I love this Kaylene! I remember the night I came to terms with my softer, squishier tummy and tearfully asked my husband to agree with me, that he would see it as beautiful. A little puzzled, he said he had never thought anything different, but that I had pushed his hands away from my middle (except when I was pregnant enough to have a firm tummy again). I hadn't even realized I was doing it, but I know I didn't want to gross him out and if he would just wait a couple more months, I would have a trim tummy again...It doesn't mean I won't do sit-ups but I am content and happy with who I am right now :) Thanks for summing it up so sweetly and honestly!!!

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  2. How sweet of him! Thanks for sharing! My husband too, agrees that he doesn't find my softness repelling. In a way, he loves me more for it. :) Blessings!

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  3. Beautifully written! I couldnt agree more!

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  4. This was so beautiful! Sharing for others to enjoy. Thank you!!!!!

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    1. Thank you for sharing, Katy! Glad you were encouraged!:) Moms need to love themselves more!

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  5. So glad you wrote this and shared this. More people need to hear this message, and realize how important those scars and stretch marks are in the world of motherhood. They are an honor, not something feel ashamed of. I'm featuring this posts on Monday's Salt & Light link up, if you want to stop by and grab a featured button!

    Marissa
    http://raysofgraceandjoy.blogspot.com

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    1. I'm flattered, Marissa!...and honored! I'll get the button. You bless me! Thank you:)

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  6. This post so reminded me of my mother's comments to me after my second child, who was a whopper (10lb 8oz). she, bless her soul, was an insensitive woman whose words often exploded out of her brain right through her mouth. Motherhood is a calling, and the freshness of that new baby is something that can't be taken away no matter what someone else says. Our bodies serve many purposes but I think bringing new life into this world is the most noble!

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    1. Indeed it is, Nancy! Indeed it is! & wow! Good job on birthing a "whopper"! Mine were 7 & 8lbers. Large enough ;) blessings to you & yours!

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  7. Great truths!! My youngest calls it my fat belly and he is not being mean. I am excepting now to so my fat belly is getting fatter but they love to rub the fat belly. I wouldn't have it any other way.

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    1. Congratulations on your upcoming addition!!! Added beauty, dear mama! ♡

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  8. I am so sorry that woman said such an unkind thing to you......good for you that you were able to process it and see God's blessing in it. This was a wonderful reminder to all of us mothers.....we need to stop judging our bodies as the world does..... and live for the Lord. Thank you for showing joy.....apart from body "imperfections". :)

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    1. Thank you for reading & posting encouragement! Life is too short to focus on things less than joyful. One day we will be perfected! Until then.... praise the Lord! :)

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  9. I want to cry! You couldn't have said it any better! It wasn't until after a few babies did I learn to love my body again. It's not the body it once was, but I can now look in the mirror and love what I see. I love that God made the woman's body to grow and bring forth life and I have been blessed to be able to experience that 7 times.

    Thanks for linking up at the Babies & Beyond Link-Up; I'm featuring your post this week!

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    1. Sarah, this thrills me more than you'll know!!! Thank you for your kind understanding words! I grabbed the link-up button. A very large THANK YOU! to all of you who organized this fantastic link-up. Blessings you and your beautiful 7!

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  10. I have to admit (hesitantly...I realize this is not the point of the post) I am still working through the 'damage' done to my body during the last pregnancy...I have to admit I am still having a hard time facing the mirror, but I am doing my part to begin taking better care myself WHILE learning to appreciate what the cost has blessed us with :)
    We have five beautiful children, and I wouldn't trade it for anything, thanks for the great reminder!

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    1. Oh, Rachael, thank you for your transparency. It can be hard to accept, I know. I was prompted to write this post after I found myself again disliking my body. I found a reconciliation, of sorts in writing these words. In essence, I felt by hating my body, I was somehow hating the fact it made our precious children. Motherhood is the greatest call on earth! Growing to love ourselves more after carrying a child, is rarely talked about. Rather, we are pressured to get back to 'skinny'. While it's crucial to take care of our bodies to honor the Lord, we should also have an understanding & willing acceptance this great call brings. Bless you, dear mother! You are precious in the sight of the Lord, your husband & children! ♡

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  11. It's beautiful and crazy to think about what our bodies can take and how they can grow these perfect little humans! What a blessing it is to be a mother! Blessings to you!

    Andrea from beautifulcraziness.blogspot.com

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  12. So beautifully stated. I love how you took such a negative statement from what must have been a senseless person and turned it into an empowering declaration. Our bodies are so amazing. Pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood have changed me for the better both physically and emotionally. I love the new me. I've never been so comfortable in my own skin before.

    Thanks for sharing this with the Mommy Brain Mixer. I think it's so important for other women to hear positive thoughts about the changes we undergo. Society makes it so hard to embrace our new shape. I hope others read this and it helps them see their bodies in a new light. Thank you!

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    1. Hi, Nicolette. I agree wholeheartedly with you! Glad you were encouraged. Blessings to you & yours!:)

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  13. So lovely. I'm honestly working with this...on loving my body after my twins. I do see it as a badge of honor, but I also have some muscle damage and remnants from my surgery that I have some "issues" with for lack of a better way to say it. I wouldn't trade it for a thing, of course, and I'm so grateful that my boys were born healthy and *very* big...now just to find the motivation and the time to take care of my body on again. Thanks for this post. Visiting from Mommy Brain Mixer and saw you were also featured. :)

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    1. Bless you for sharing! Big twin boys! Definately a badge of honor:)

      Also, thanks for the heads up about being featured at Mommy Brain Mixer! I'm off to grab a featured button. Funny, I don't remember linking to Nicolettes blog hop, but it's definitely there! :) have a beautiful day, dear one!

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  14. A beautiful post! We are truly blessed to give life and that is what is beautiful. Tenderly written and full of love - thank you for sharing.

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    1. Hi Emily! Thank you for your kind words. Glad you enjoyed! Blessings!

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  15. We're expecting our 3rd any day now, and my husband somehow thinks I've gotten hotter over the years. He doesn't seem to notice the stretch marks and spider veins that I think are so unattractive.

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  16. Kaylene, beautifully written!

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  17. Amen! Absolutely beautiful. The whole "body is ruined" commentary always bothered me too.
    Found you at Hit Me With Your Best Shot!
    Kim @ pinspiredhome.blogspot.com

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  18. Many thanks for this great post. I honestly can't believe that anyone would say that. Weird, how narrow-minded some people are when it comes to beauty. I have seen many beautiful people and things in my life (blessed as I am!) but not much could top the beauty of a happily pregnant woman, creating life and relishing in the sheer joy of it. Or a mother lovingly cradleing her sweet baby and gazing at it, starcrossed. If all anyone notices in that scene is her soft tummy and possibly unmade hair... Their loss.

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