Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Position Over Performance

This whole submission and respect thing started making sense to me when I realized three things:

1. My husband has a POSITION.

2. My husband has a PERFORMANCE.

3. I must never confuse the order of the two.




My husband's God ordained position is this:

"The husband is the head of the wife
as Christ is the head of the church"
~Ephesians 5:23~

My husband is my leader, put there by God. He is also leader of the family, leader of the home, spiritual leader...in all things leader. Leader. LEADER.

His performance should look like this:

"Husbands, love your wives,
just as Christ loved the church and
gave himself up for her"
~Ephesians 5:25

"Husbands, love your wives
and do not be harsh with them."
~Colossians 3:19~

But what if it doesn't?

Then, I too, have a position and a performance.

My God ordained position is this:

"Now as the church submits to Christ,
so also wives should submit to their husbands
in everything."
~Ephesians 5:24~

My performance should look like this:

"the wife must respect her husband"
~Ephesians 5:33

"love their husbands and children,
to be self controlled...pure...
busy at home...kind...
subject to their husbands..."
~Titus 2:4-5~

But what if it doesn't?

Then I sin.

A wife who bases her performance solely on her husband's performance is a foolish wife indeed. 

A wise wife knows that her strength is not of herself but in the God Who loves her>>tweet this<<

"for it is God who works in you
to will and to act according to His good purpose."
~Philippians 2:13~

"Not by might nor by power,
but by My Spirit,"
~Zechariah 4:6~

"the Lord, 
is my strength and my song;
He has become my salvation."
~Isaiah 12:2~

A God fearing wife will humble herself before the Lord and take on the role of her position without complaining, just as Christ took on the cross for the church. 

She is self-controlled, not functioning solely on how her husband makes her feel or what she thinks of his ways. 

She is gentle and kind in her response to him. 

She is patient when he is rude. 

She has peace in looking to an eternal perspective. 

Most importantly, she is strengthened by the grace that has been so freely showered upon her. "Be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus" ~2Timothy 2:1~



If you, too, want to be a wife who sees her husband's God ordained position in greater importance than his sinful, fleshly, less-than-perfect performance, will you pray with me?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Father, thank you for sending Your Son to  be the perfect example of humility. I know Your design for marriage replicates that of Christ and the Church. Help me now to do my part. Help me respect and honor my husband based on the position You have given him, rather than how he performs in that position.

May my perception of my own position not be one of disdain as the world sees it and as the enemy would have it, but one of confident trust in You, extending grace to him as You have done for me.

Father, through my humble submission to You let my performance bring honor and glory to You, my husband, my family, and my position as wife.

In Jesus' precious name. Amen.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~



As you'll remember, a few weeks back I posted about a S.W.A.G. In the posts to come, I'll be sharing my heart on the attitudes a godly wife should have. (Note to self: I said "should". I have to write about this stuff because I have to learn it the most!)

http://christianmommyblogger.comCornerstone ConfessionsWifey Wednesday button

32 comments :

  1. You have no idea how much this speaks to me today! Thank you Lord for using this to speak to my heart! Blessings to you!

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  2. This is a great post. I like how you accept what the Bible says as is. Very rare in this culture. I'm visiting from Jennifer's link up this week.

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    1. Thank you for visiting Elizabeth! I like black & white, no fluff, truth. If God says it, so it is. I cannot elaborate on His words for fear of devaluing them :) to Him the honor! Blessings to you & yours!

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  3. I loved this post, absolutely LOVED it! I'll never look at the words position and performance in the same way again. A great reminder about who each spouse is and what God has called us to do. I'll be sharing this with the ladies at our next Bible study. Thank you!

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    1. To Him the glory! Glad you were encouraged! :)

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  4. Great wisdom shared here! Thanks for linking up with The Weekend Brew!

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    1. Hi Barbie! Thank you for visiting! To Him the honor.

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  5. I very much appreciate this post especially as I begin this Love Dare journey. This will really stay with me... "A wife who bases her performance solely on her husband's performance is a foolish wife indeed." Thank you for sharing with TWW.

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    1. Hi, Beth! Thank you for stopping by! Glad you have been encouraged. To Him the glory! Blessings to you & yours!

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  6. Kaylene ... Thank you for joining us in the #TellHisStory community. God bless you ... and your marriage. xo

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    1. Hi, Jennifer! Thank you for making #TellHisStory possible! You bless many, dear friend in Christ!

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  7. This is great information.... We need to respect our husbands because God says to.....not because he is being respectable. A bit of a difference at times. We dare not excuse any sin in ourselves for any reason.... although sometimes we like to try.... "but he__________". Never an acceptable reason to God. Thank you for posting this. :)

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    1. You are so right! Never acceptable to God. When difficulties arise, race to the cross. See who can get there first! May I always be the one to extend grace & forgiveness first, because Jesus did for me! Blessings to you & yours!

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    2. thanks kaylene for your post and the blog too of course:) thanks for your great advice from GOD's Word.

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  8. There's a lot to say about trying our best to be right in God's eyes regardless of anyone else's behavior. Christians just aren't called to be reactionary. Thanks for your deeply grounded post.

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    1. Helene, thank you for stopping by & leaving kind words. Reactions seem to be my tendencies, but can be overcome through Jesus! Ptl! May we never cease striving for righteousness!

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  9. Excellent post. Many women live a lifetime and never realize these truths. Thanks for sharing and linking up with me today.

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    1. Hi, Kate! Thank you for your kind words! To Him the glory! Blessings

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  10. This post really speaks to me. I love how you laid out the words for us. You are so right, we are to respect our husbands because God has told us to. This is regardless if we feel like they deserve it. Dropping in from the Sunday Community.

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    1. Hi Kalley! Thank you for reading & leaving kind words! Be blessed!

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  11. I've never thought of it quite like this, Kaylene. It makes things much more clear, doesn't it? Thank you for this, friend. Grateful to come here from Playdates with God.

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    1. Hi, Laura! Thank you for stopping by! You bless me!

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  12. Wonderfully put... this is a topic that is so confused in many Christian's minds today. And stating it so simply helps greatly. I'm so glad you shared this with Salt & Light

    Marissa
    http://raysofgraceandjoy.blogspot.com

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    1. Hi Marissa! Our God is not the author of confusion. His plan is stated simply! We tend to over think it ;) or maybe it's because don't like humbling ourselves to His authority & His good and perfect plan! Thank you for making Salt & Light possible.

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  13. Excellent, excellent post. Thank the Lord that He does not treat us as our performance deserves. I am so thankful for a godly marriage that allows us the grace to forgive each other when we fail. And thankful for my husband's position as the head of our home. Thanks for sharing at Fridays Unfolded!

    Alison
    Nancherrow

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    1. Thank you, Alison! I, too, am thankful for the things you mentioned. God is good! To Him the glory!

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  14. This is great, sister! I know that for many years of my early life the whole "submission" thing made me twitch... But once I got to know Jesus and understood His example, it all made sense and was a privilege and blessing.

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    1. A privilege and blessing, for sure, sister! For sure! To Him the glory!

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  15. Good words. Thanks for linking-up for #inspireandgrow. We live near Amish and would love to hear your story sometimes.:)

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  16. This is one of those truths that is so very simple to understand and not always so easy to execute. But a beautiful thing to strive for each day. Thanks for linking to Unforced Rhythms.

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  17. Thank you so much for yet another wonderfully real and beautiful post. This will be featured on my blog for Family Fun Friday <3 Hugs Kaylene! <3

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